Sunday, June 14, 2009

Hotties that must be saved: Katy Perry

Oh yeah...

Pride & Prejudice & Zombies

This is the original text of the classic novel by Jane Austen, as restored by Graeme Smith. Generations of young girls and pasty English-major pansies grew up without the gore and carnage the Austen used to depict the soul-numbing life of the English Country Gentry.

Austen used the backdrop of a small zombie incursion to tell her tragicomic tale of mixed-up lovers. Between English sensitivities to the effects of zombie violence upon young women, and the natural inclinations of governments to suppress widespread knowledge of the undead walking among us, most readers assumed this was nothing more than a boring proto-romcom and fodder for dozens of date-movie scripts. Not so!

Here we see Austen's heroes as katana-wielding martial arts masters hellbent on dispatching revenants and saving Merry Old England. Austen even manages to include snippets of the long-standing Shaolin and Ninja blood vendetta. This is the very same feud that would later claim Bruce Lee's life. I give this book 5 severed heads.

Unfortunately, there is some glitch in the shelving system and you will usually find this stacked in the comedy section of your local bookstores. Go figure.