Thursday, March 31, 2011
Strange sightings are reported in lakes throughout the Northern Hemisphere. What are these creatures? Are they flesh and blood, or phantasms? Are they mutant eels or prehistoric survivors? And most importantly, do they taste good with tartar sauce?
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
John Browning was the engineering genius behind several of the greatest guns of the 20th Century. His M1911 is one hundred years old this year and still soldiering on in Afghanistan -- maybe even in Libya. The same goes for his M2 .50 Machine Gun. His other classics, such as the .30 Browning Automatic Rifle and the 9mm Browning Hi-Power pistol have been pulled from front-line inventories after decades of service. Though those who handle the weapons still grow fond of them.
One such weapon in this last category is the M1919 .30 machine gun. This machine gun is a classic that served the United States on nearly every battlefield of WWII and on into the Korean Conflict. It even made appearances in Vietnam in the hands of the South Vietnamese army and mounted on various trucks and jeeps of the US forces.
This thing is a real beast, and just because it's old doesn't mean it isn't up for anti-zombie duty today. Especially if you have no respect for venerable history like that and have it chopped down into a shoulder fired variant. Watch out, Undead; John Browning was ready for you a century ago!
Monday, March 28, 2011
Published as a work of fiction to scoot under the radar of the authorities, this book reveals much about the "biological" functions of zombies. It's important to have a detailed understanding of your adversary in order to exploit weaknesses. The author firmly believes that it is possible to beat a zombie outbreak if we use our brains for something other than food for the Zeds.
As I explained previously, the best martial art for zombiggeddon is a weapon-based art. Forget going hand-to-hand with the walking dead, you need a keen blade or stout stick. Filipino Martial Arts (FMA) are awesome for this role.
Here's part of the Human Weapon episode on covering "escrima" which is used as a catch-all term for FMA. Don't think training with sticks is second best; those sticks stand-in for machetes, bolos, and other large jungle knives. So this episode will provide an overview on why FMA are tailor-made for zombie eradication.
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Saturday, March 26, 2011
Here's a video of a guy using his Beowulf on some leftover plumbing fixtures:
That's right folks; the .50 Beowulf assault rifle.
The so-called "Mythbusters" and I don't always see eye-to-eye. But they sure are fun. They blow stuff up, shoot things, and sometimes even get stabby-stabby. Take this video in which they try various machine guns to chop down a tree. It's good to know if these things can work in my line of work. They weren't able to make it work until they turned to the GE 7.62mm Minigun. Imagine, if you can, spitting 50 rounds per second at an on-coming horde of zombies. Something like this can put the hurt on creatures that otherwise are unaffected by mundane weapons; 50 rounds per second dumps tremendous energy into a body and can overtax even a healing factor.
Friday, March 25, 2011
But I suspect something more is happening. Anyway, one of my sources sent me this previously confiscated and embargoed footage which was somehow liberated from a government records warehouse:
Note the infrared (IR) reflective patches on the chest: a patriotic American flag, blood type, and NKDA, or "No Known Drug Allegies."
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Plus, this first one fits our theme, but is all about the tease...
Whereas this one is all about the payoff...
And sets up tomorrow's installment wonderfully.
** Special Note: I would not let my six-year-old watch the second one of these. In other words -- viewer discretion is advised.
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
This is the Kriss, a cutting edge sub machine gun design perfect for close quarters combat. It is small and lightweight. It packs a mean, mean punch being chambered in .45 ACP, and it's unique design controls recoil and muzzle jump. And it takes all the popular attachements -- especially the holographic -- or red dot -- sights and flashlights Flint and I like to use.
.45 ACP packs a wallop. Get hit by one round and you know you've been in a gunfight. Get hit by several in quick succession -- and you're in a world of hurt. I've seen a Thompson submachine gun nearly pulp a zombie... But I don't like to talk about that.
I did not know this, but apparently Russia has about 30 scientists devoted to the study of the Yeti. And their working theory is that the Yeti is a Neanderthal survivor. They are establishing a university institute to study the creature.
This is the infamous "Snow Walker" film reportedly caught by two hikers in 1992 in Nepal.
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
This looks like it might benefit from some padding on the shield component.
Monday, March 21, 2011
This man -- nay, this hero -- stood up before the Salt Lake City council and outlined in no uncertain terms the need for zombie outbreak preparedness.
Did they listen? No.
And shortly thereafter...
(Hint: Watch behind the talking head newscasters through the studio windows.)
Fortunately this outbreak was contained and terminated.
Sunday, March 20, 2011
I am presenting here two transmogrification that professional Lycanthropy experts have reviewed and deemed to be reasonably accurate:
The classic transmogrification from the movie, An American Werewolf in London.
And here is a newer version from the BBC series Being Human. This is an especially interesting one as it includes a blow-by-blow description of the progress of the transmogrification.
Saturday, March 19, 2011
You know, being a badass zombie hunter isn't all about shooting guns, throwing molotov cocktails, and surviving on cans of dog food after civilization eventually collapses. No, you have to know all kinds of stuff. People seem to think Flint and I are some kind of weird brand of redneck. That's hardly the truth. I have a college degree! And Flint... well, he's close.
It's not just about knowledge of zombies, which is a full-time job in itself. You have to be ready for other kinds of things that go bump in the night too. And that can get complicated. For instance, did you know this weekend will see a Perigean Full Moon? No? Well, watch out.
Of course, Flint and I keep tabs on the moon charts anyway to be ready for werewolf activity. But you don't just watch the phases chart, you have to watch the whole lunar movement. A Perigean Full Moon means the moon will be full during its closest approach to the Earth for the year. The combination of a full moon, perigee, and an optical illusion that makes all full moons look large on the horizon will make moonrise tonight more startling. The moon's diameter may appear to be 14 percent wider than when it is at it's furthest point away, or the apogee. If you've got clear skies, it may even be 30% brighter!
So what? Well, this can have a marked effect on werewolves (and any other creatures effected by the lunar cycle). They may become more violent, or retain more of their human intellect and become more cunning. Some people infected by mild forms of lycanthropy can show an increased inclination towards wolfishness. They may even undergo a full-on transformation, even if they do not usually experience such a thing.
Yeah, we're real stupid around here. It takes a lot of study to be successful in this job. You always have to be thinking.
Friday, March 18, 2011
What's better than an AR15? How about a semiautomatic shotgun? What's better than that? How about combining those things into one shooty death machine?
The idea of slinging a shotgun underneath a full-size assault rifle has been around since at least 1986. It was developed and used by actual elite Army units, like the 75th Ranger Regiment, who referred to it as the "Master Key."
It got its name because the intention was to use the shotgun as a breaching tool to blow doors off their hinges. Latching the shotgun on the rifle kept the tool out of the way and allowed a quick transition to the rifle for the breacher.
While breaching rounds aren't designed for antipersonnel use, I'm sure they hurt quite a bit. Not to mention that one of the great strengths of the shotgun is the ability to shoot a wide variety of nasty ammunition. Nothing is stopping a Master Key shotgun from feeding solid slugs or buckshot, or beehive shells. All of which can be quite useful when dealing with crowds of the undead in confined spaces.
* Please note: This may not be suitable for viewers with heart conditions, delicate stomachs, or pregnant women. You might also wish to refrain from viewing this clip at work.The flamethrower is so iconic from this movie that it will even appear in the now filming prequel.
Thursday, March 17, 2011
Scotland's Loch Ness gets all the publicity, but serious lake monster researchers know that there is a Northern Latitude "belt" that seems to have the majority of Lake Monster sightings. Other Scottish lochs have recorded sightings, as do lakes in Scandinavia, Russia, China, the United States, and Canada.
Ireland is no exception. Here is footage shot in 2009 by a researcher of an Irish lake that supposedly is home to such a beastie. (I'm linking because my uploads seem to be having problems.)
The Irish brought some stowaways with them when they came across the Atlantic. And every now and then you hear reports of Leprechauns outside their native element.
I know most you grew up thinking of Leprechauns as vaguely amusing fussbudgets worried about kids stealing their lucky charms, but Mama Mudskipper came from a long line of Irish women and knew the old stories.
Leprechauns are nothing to laugh at. They can be mean and vindictive if provoked. Which is why the people in this video ought to show a little more respect if they don't want to end up on the wrong side of the rainbow.
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Mmmmmm... flamethrowers and tanks... No zombie horde could stand against me. But the gas mileage has to be terrible.
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Flamethrowers saw their heyday during the Second World War, burning out pillboxes across the pacific. Contrary to popular belief, the majority of fatalities from flamethrowers came from consuming all the oxygen in enclosed spaces, not direct burns.
Most of our targets don't need oxygen, so plan for the direct approach.
Monday, March 14, 2011
Flamethrowers are fantastic for cleansing and burning hordes of the undead, giant mutant ants, vampires, witches... Well, just about anything. Very little stands up to the purifying power of open flame. But they remain special purpose appliances, and not part of your everyday kit.
Still, when the job calls for a flamethrower, very little else will suffice.
One problem is that you can't use flamethrowers inside enclosed structures because it's a major danger to you own self. The other problem is that flames don't act instantaneously. Douse a zombie in napalm and for the longest few seconds of your life you have the only thing worse than a zombie -- you have a zombie on fire! It'll keep shambling right toward you ablaze; at least until the heat starts making the tendons contract and the zombie collapses into a ball of charcoal.
Sunday, March 13, 2011
What stands out here is the helmet-mounted night vision goggles (sometimes referred to as NVGs, or Nods -- for "night observation device"). It takes some practice to get used to working with NVGs, and a little more practice to get used to shooting with them on. But it pays off when hunting zombies and other such creatures. They don't call them "things that go bump in the night" for nothing.
But then... Can any of us truly be "ready" for the Rising? This was smuggled to me by a contact in the Department of Homeland Security at great personal risk.
Advertising is what it's all about.
Saturday, March 12, 2011
It's good to know the limits of your equipment. You never know what strenuous conditions you'll be under when you need to use it. Combat is always a harsh environment, but slaying zombies has additional pressures. Since those zeds don't ever stop coming, no environment is safe, and you may have to shoot them underwater.
Will your Glock work? Will it cycle? Let's find out.
Friday, March 11, 2011
I admit, my hand edged toward the butt of my Glock 19, but he seemed pretty friendly. Although he was a little green around the gills.
Anyway, he shook my hand and, after I wiped some of the dampness off me, he handed me this pamphlet and asked me if I'd heard the news. I assumed I was going to get the typical Jesus Speech. This guy looked like he was a recovering junky and had traded his Smack addiction for a religious addiction.
Nope. Instead, he started telling me about Cthulhu and the Great Old Ones and how the star are lining up for the end times.
Don't be "Him."