Sunday, October 31, 2010

Simulation Training

You can use the "Organ Trail" training simulator to enhance your Zombie Survival skills.

Based on the ancient, but immensely popular, "Oregon Trail" game.

Zombie Hunting 101

Some tips for beginning your zombie hunting career from your friends at US Cavalry.

Your Modern-day Mule

Okay, everyone wants to talk about how their going to re-kill reanimated corpses after Z-Day.

A few want to discuss armor to protect you against their skeletal claws and rabid bites. And some may broach the topic of survival rations or medical care.


None of that means jack-all if you can't be mobile. Because sooner or later you are going to have to resupply. For that, you need something that can take you where you need to go, something that can haul your food, ammo, bandages, and porno magazines back to your fortress of solitude, and something reliable enough to keep going no matter what you hit it with -- or how many undead you hit with it.
You need a Toyota pickup truck -- specifically the Hilux, or the North American equivalent, the Toyota Tacoma.
This is the vehicle of choice of insurgent armies in your finer Third World countries. It's been called the AK-47 of the automotive world. I like to think of it as the perfect zombie truck, because it just doesn't die. Don't believe me? The blokes at the BBC's hit show Top Gear did everything they could think of to kill a Hilux, and it just kept running. It was no shock this was the vehicle they chose to drive to the North Pole.
This thing is so tough, you could probably repair it with the Cold Steel Trench Hawk below!
I know you're probably asking yourself, "What about gas?" Well, as Mad Max can attest, that is a problem and I don't have a great answer for you. Stockpiling gas is problematic. And I expect that access to gasoline is likely to be a prime cause of friction among the human survivors of Z-Day. I'll keep researching the issue and get back to you in a future article.

Saturday, October 30, 2010

The Cold Steel Trench Hawk -- Meet Your Lobotomizer!

Gill Mudskipper here! We all know there are times when things get a little up-close and personal with the undead. For that kind of work, you need something tough, reliable, heavy, and pointy. You need a Cold Steel Trench Hawk.

This is an item practically custom made for Zombie Killing. Like traditional tomahawks, it's a two piece construction. There's a steel head, which is attached to a polypropylene shaft, making for a 19-inch long tool. That's a little too close for comfort with the undead -- but on the bright side, it usually only takes one good swipe from this badass to put a deadhead done for the count.

You can use the axe head for utility work and monster slaying. But the bonus is the spikey part on the back -- perfect for penetrating the putrid, over-ripe skulls of the walking dead!

The nice thing about the polypropylene handle is that it is easy to wash after use. Zombie scuzz won't linger in the nooks and crannies like it might with a wood shaft. When you get back to your sanctuary, you can easily disassemble the hawk and disinfect every part.

The Trench Hawk comes with a cool thermoplastic sheath. Again, this is a great safety feature for the Zombie Hunter. You can return the hawk to the sheath after use and the danger of accidentally being nicked by an edge and infecting yourself is reduced. On the other hand, you need to practice to bring the weapon into action quickly. If you need this -- you need it right away!

Need more info? Check out this guy.