Hey folks, Flint Tinderwood here. Today I'm going to begin laying out the vital information you all will need to survive the inevitable Zombiegeddon. Though Gil may disagree with me on this one (we all know how much he would rather collect his guns as a first step), I believe that the first step to surviving the horde is to choose the place where you intend to hole up and fight the creepy critters from.
Now, Most of you are probably just assuming you're going to use your own home right? Well, you've just become a victim, and now there are tons of Zombies ripping your flesh apart as you die slowly and painfully. You're going to need tons of ammunition, not to mention food, and you're house isn't going to provide you with enough room for this. Plus, you need multiple escape routes in the event that you become overwhelmed, which the average home will not provide you with.
What I propose is the closest two-story mall. I say two-story because it is always best to have the high ground in a fight for your life. Why a mall you ask? Because it gives you everything you need. Malls have food courts, thus they have storage room for food to be kept without the worry of it going bad. Second, resources. Gun stores, cutteries, a simple Claire's can be a huge benefit in Zombiegeddon (a can of hairspray + a lighter = a saving your ass, makeshift flamethrower). One thing to note though is that you want 3 stairwells max. The stairs are where most of your kills are going to come from, as you can funnel them into a confined area where their numbers will mean nothing.
Ultimately, a mall gives you multiple escape routes. Think of all the emergency exits. If you fortify your mall correctly, you should never have to leave it, but in the event that a mistake is made, you want to have options. Well, sorry I couldn't get more in depth for you, but I have to give you some homework, I'm not going to do it all for you. Tonight, I want you all to go out and locate a mall that you think would be a prime spot to make your Zombiegeddon safe-haven. We'll meet back here on Wednesday with our info, and I'll begin telling you exactly how you should begin the fortification process.
And remember, the world has no place for another scared man.