Sunday, December 12, 2010

You'd Better Not Pout. You'd Better Not Cry...

Recently leaked films from a Finnish export firm show the truth behind Santa Claus. It isn't pretty, and if you're under the age of 12, I strongly advise you to tune out now.

This old and revered business, Rare Exports Inc., has been engaged in the grey market trade of shipping actual "Father Christmases" world-wide since 1739. Or... so they claim.

The first film appears to be a sales film, showing how Lapp hunters track and bring down a free range Father Christmas before training the beast to deal with children in an appropriate manner.

The second film, however, demonstrates the dangers of improper care and handling of the purchased Father Christmas.

Add one more dangerous, supernatural beast to your hunting list. And as an aside: What is going on in Scandinavia? Lately we've learned of trolls in Norway, and now "Father Christmas" cryptids running loose in Finland. What's next, dragons?

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