Important! Crash Course in Zombie Defense

Time is short!  Train hard...

The Question isn't "When is it Okay to kill a Zombie?"

The question is, "How do I kill them all most efficiently?"

Loyal readers, I'm sorry I've been gone so long. I've been busy working, taking classes, traveling, sharpening my weapons, etc. But I can see my absence has allowed a certain slack in the Zombie Awareness Community.

The Blog io9 has actually published an article entitled, "When is it okay to kill a Zombie?" You can access it right here: http://io9.com/5884288/when-is-it-okay-to-kill-a-zombie. Don't be taken in by these moral relativists: zombies are dangerous and must be exterminated as quickly and cleanly as possible. the only moral obligation you have is to determine that your target is, in fact, one of the animated undead. And believe me, I know from long experience, that is usually not hard to determine.

Do not waver in your purpose, friends.

Musical Interlude: Glee -- Heads Will Roll

The kids from Glee sing in Thriller make-up.

Unprepared! UK City is forced to concede they can't hold back Zombies!

The United Kingdom's Leicester City Council was recently forced to admit they had no contingency plan for the inevitable zombie apocalypse. (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/8567867/Council-quizzed-over-zombie-invasion-plans-by-resident.html)

"Concerned citizen" Robert Ainsley filed a request under the UK-version of the Freedom of Information Act for information relating to the city's disaster plan for handling zombies. The city council spokesperson,Lynne Wyeth, admitted in a radio interview that this made her office, "laugh."

I assure you, Ms. Wyeth, that the shambling hordes of the hungry undead are no laughing matter. They are a real and dangerous threat. And your city is under more threat because of the draconian laws in your country regarding firearms ownership and even the possession of samurai swords -- two of the most effective anti-zombie tools available. Cricket bats and shovels are secondary tools at best.

Gear Pr0n: Mil-Spec Monkey Zombie Hunter Patch in PVC

Mil-Spec Monkey's popular "Zombie Hunter" patch is now available in PVC.

As the Monkey says:
"We are trying out PVC designs to give some more options. They look clean, are nice and durable, and hook velcro won't stick to them like normal embroidery. Overall matte with very low reflectivity."

These are extremely durable, and may stand-up better in harsh environments better than normal embroidery. For example, if you are constantly in swamps or doing deep dives. The constant wetting and drying process can be hard on standard patches. You may have other applications in mind, such as ID on HAZMAT suits that needs to be disinfected.

Don't go hunting without identification. The zombie hunter patch won't solve all your ID issues, but it is a start.

Musical Interlude: Zombie by the Cranberries

Anyone Can Become a Zombie...

One of the horrifying truths about becoming a zombie is that it is an equal opportunity menace. The curse knows no difference among its victims. Race, color, creed, occupation... None of that matters.

In fact, sadly, in some outbreaks, the weakest members of society are among the first to fall. And so I present this horrible image. Undoubtedly it tugs on your heartstrings, because you can recognize a tragic history lies behind this undead corpse. But you cannot afford to falter in your purpose.

All zombies must be destroyed.

Recorded Attacks

Max Brooks, the researcher who gave us the Zombie Survival Guide and World War Z, also wrote a history called, The Zombie Survival Guide: Recorded Attacks. It presents information, often neglected in standard histories in order to minimize potential panic, about historical zombie outbreaks and how they were faced.

Logo!

Zombie Defense 101

A California community college is offering Zombie Defense 101. This is a step in the right direction, and I hope to see more institutions of higher learning and continuing education step up to the plate.

I am disturbed that this course apparently does not cover firearms or even edged weapons. The comely lass demonstrating seems to be limited to softball bats and karate kicks. In fact, she screams, "Jiu Jutsu!" while kicking one fiend... And while there are some limited kicks in Jiu Jutsu/jujutsu styles, we have already discussed why a grappling art is not ideal for fighting the undead.

Centers for Disease Control Press Release

For years the US Federal Government has been silent on the subject of Zombies. So, for that matter, have most -- if not all -- state and local governments. Getting up at a public forum and asking your representatives what preparations are being made for the rise of the walking dead was sure to draw snickers from the audience, disdain from the politician, and very likely a quick way to get escorted to the door by friendly law enforcement officials.

But this week, The Centers for Disease Control (CDC) released this: blogs.cdc.gov/.../2011/05/preparedness-101-zombie-apocalypse
or
emergency.cdc.gov/socialmedia/zombies.asp

You might not be able to reach it, because the site has been crashing off-and-on since it got posted. You see, the quiet CDC blog entry was noticed by major news organizations, for example:
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=136500576

What does this mean? Is it coincidental that a fringe religious group announced tomorrow, Saturday, May 21, 2011 is the date of The Rapture and beginning of the Christian End Times?

Perhaps the USG is ready to admit the existence of zombies. Maybe it knows information leaked about the last couple of outbreaks and people are taking this threat seriously now.

How To Survive the Inevitable Zombie Apocalypse!

Even major corporations are preparing for Z-Day. This is part of a film for a major International IT firm's Human Resources department.

Lost Tapes: Zombies Part 2

The security agents deal with their close encounter with hybrid zombies.

Frankly, this whole thing concerns me. I'd never before heard of Haitian Voudon-created zombies having a taste for human flesh or spreading infection. Usually they are very docile.

Tell The World

License plates won't mean much after the dead rise on Z-Day. But until then, put this plate frame on your Toyata Tacoma to let the world know you're ready for the inevitable zombie apocalypse -- even if they aren't.

Lost Tapes: Zombie Part 1

Lost Tapes presents video obtained from a private security firm establishing the threat from hybrid zombies recently encountered in New Orleans.

Zombie Hunting Permit!

Renminder: Please make sure that your zombie hunting permit is up-to-date.

Zombie Peeps Wish you a "Hoppy Easter!"

This is what happens if you keep Peeps past their expiration date.

Musical Interlude -- Thriller!

The big bad voodoo daddy of horror themed music videos!

Zombies Taking Over!

National Geographic talks to the experts about the inevitable zombie apocalypse!

Zombie Survival Kit Week: The Basics

Glock and Shotgun for basic defense. Machete for conserving ammo. Knife for utility needs. Crowbar and Tomahawk for melee weapons and the all-important task of breaking into spaces to scavange for necessities. Plus, a handy copy of the Zombie Survival Guide by Max Brooks. This person is off to a fantastic start.